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Women's Sex Lives

Women's Sex Lives

Photographed by Cassidy Palmateer of Joelle Beauchamp
Styled by Joelle Beauchamp

By Jordyn Damato

The sex lives of women have always been a taboo topic within society, but why? For centuries, men have been able to talk, joke and even sing about sex. But, nobody bats an eye about it; instead they are celebrated and glorified both in the media and behind closed doors, as if people have forgotten that it often takes two people to have sex. Why are conversations regarding women's sex lives being discussed in a different light compared to the sex lives of men?

For example, “WAP” by Cardi B and Meghan Thee Stallion practically broke the internet when it was released in 2020, for more reasons than the fact that it’s a banger of a song. The track received backlash on the internet for being so “vulgar” and “graphic” , though it is not nearly as vulgar as songs that have been released before it.

It forces us to ask why songs as old as “Baby Got Back” by Sir Mix Alot, or more recently “Frat Rules” by Asap Mob and “Lollipop” by Lil Wayne, are not scrutinized in the same way. The answer is an unfortunate and obvious one: because they are men.

Now, this is not to say that men cannot talk or sing about sex, it is expected as it is such a relevant topic in our society, but why are women not given the same creative freedomsThese questions seem crazy to ask because for decades men have objectified women in a million different ways for the sake of “art”. But when it comes to a woman owning her own sexuality, people find themselves suddenly uncomfortable.

This notion stretches beyond the music industry. As women dress in the ways they desire, whether that be a short dress or skirt, are often seen as “unprofessional” or “slutty”. Dressing in that manner simply shows they are comfortable in their own skin and are proud to show it. Automatically, the public eye assumes she is dressed for the attention of others and not to feel good about herself. This is because the pleasure of a woman is so closely tied to the validation of a man. Beyond that, think about every man you know and how many women they have slept with. Whatever that number is, whether it’s high or low, you probably expect it for a man. A man’s sexual history is worn as a badge of honor, there is no real wrong answer for men in our society. However, that privilege does not bleed over to women.
Over time, women with a more full dating history or a “higher number” have automatically been viewed as “less than” or–and here comes that word again– “sluts”. As if we have all forgotten that women can enjoy sex as much as men, and not only that, but that they are having sex with men.

Surprise! Women choose to have sex just like men do. So the question remains: what do we do about this? How do we dismantle a stigma that has been prevalent in our society for centuries? There is no easy answer, but there are things we can all do. For women, keep having sex and keep talking about sex. We must keep our sex lives in art and keep dressing however we want. Do not shrink any part of yourself to make others’ feel comfortable. For men, remember that you are only having sex because a woman is kind enough to want to do it with you. Treat her with respect, or stop having sex.

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