Photographed by Cassidy Palmateer of Allison Miller, Joelle Beauchamp, Sofia Randazzo and Sophie Dehn
By Joelle Beauchamp
A healthy relationship with yourself is the first step in having healthy relationships with others.
It is hard to successfully have relationships with other people, whether romantic or platonic,
without first having a successful and healthy relationship with yourself. In order to grow this
relationship with yourself, you need to spend time by yourself, reflect upon your life, reflect
upon the things that you have been through that make you who you are. Write out a list of the
things that are important to you; the things you value in yourself and in your life. This is the first
step to defining what a healthy relationship with yourself is. A great way to form a healthy
relationship with yourself if practicing gratitude daily, as well as recognizing that judgements
one has towards others are a reflection of oneself.
Reflect upon the list that you made of what a healthy relationship with yourself looks like, those
things that you value in your life. After you’ve done the work on yourself, you should have a
pretty clear understanding of what you are looking for in another person. It is important to note
that after creating a healthy relationship with yourself, having a romantic partner in your life
is not going to make your life complete, as you are entirely complete within yourself. Create
another list of values and traits that you admire in others, in romantic partners. When
searching for a romantic partner, you want to look for someone that is going to reflect and
appreciate those qualities that you admire in yourself, and help you further improve these
qualities. Making a list of what qualities you look for in an ideal partner is an amazing
first step. This sets the stage for the type of person you’re looking for. Adding in segments about
bare minimums you need in a relationship, a list of red flags; things will not stand for in a
relationship, and bonuses; the things that you would love but are not necessary for a healthy
relationship. This tactic is so great for setting your standards and filtering out those that will not
complement and appreciate the qualities you love in your life.
Friendships & platonic relationships are one of the hardest to notice when they are no longer
healthy, especially when they are long term friendships or relationships. It is so important to
note that there is nothing wrong with ending friendships that no longer serve you and no longer
serve the lifestyle that you have or are aiming for. It is much more common to find friendships
than romantic partnerships. When actively searching for friends, or looking at your friends now,
ask yourself, “are each of these people that I surround myself with affirming the qualities in
myself that I love? Does their lifestyle complement mine? Do their beliefs align with mine?” In
every friendship, there is always going to be a difference of beliefs, a difference of lifestyles,
values, experiences, and of qualities that people admire within themselves. If you are new to
Central Michigan University, looking for a new friend group, maybe after realizing that your past
friends have not been healthy platonic relationships, creating a list of qualities that you admire in
friends is a great place to start and to set the stage for healthy platonic relationships. Surround yourself with people that support your growth and the lifestyle you wish to attain for yourself.
Finding new friends is so difficult, especially in a new location! Here are some tips to expand your friend group and meet new people!
-join clubs or groups of people with similar interests- Facebook is perfect for this, there are so many groups in cities all over of people that want to do the same as you- find new people to share your time with
Attend public events & classes, immersing yourself in situations in which you are surrounded by people with similar interests is the perfect opportunity for friendships to be made!
Pay attention! The quiet girl at your work that you have only had a few conversations with, the man you see at the coffee shop every morning- potential friendships are everywhere!